Thursday, January 1, 2015

Happy New Year!

Lots of unintended silence over here, but we've been enjoying our vacation time and staying somewhat busy, which usually ends with a correlation of less time spent snapping photos with my phone and opening the laptop.  It's actually a nice way to end the year, a bit unplugged.  It also goes to show that the days I'm the most active on social media, means I'm probably the most bored in real life.

I don't have any outright resolutions, goals, or words for 2015 (yet), but if the last sentiment shows any lessons, it's that I'd like to try to "live" more.  Live in the moment, live by doing, going, seeing, etc.  It's been a hard three years, not to be misread as a bad three years, they have been the best of my life, but of course challenging in ways I didn't expect or even realize until this year.  I've been lost in the trenches of babyhood and like a lot of moms - that I never thought I'd become - I lost myself.  I consumed myself with motherhood, and putting my children first in every insistence, I put all priorities related to myself last.  Being a stay home at home has so many wonderful perks, but it can also extremely isolating if you allow it.

Which I did.

I thrive on routine, and moreso the kids.  Actually, I thrive on the fact I can know what to expect if we stick to the routine.  So planning playdates, storytime, and target runs around naps, meals, feedings, and illnesses, can really limit time spent with others over the age of 2.

So, without sounding selfish, it's actually what I need to be.  I need to accept others to help and pitch in when offered instead of declining, to get out solo or with friends - regularly (regularly meaning a couple of times a month, not a couple times a year),  and to go out on real actual adult dates with my husband - not grabbing quick bites to eat with the kids in tow.  I need a more balanced life, where taking care of myself is as important as taking care of my children.


That got a lot longer than intended, but I guess my stream of consciousness is leading me to the goal of a more balanced life and now that the kids a bit older without needing ten naps and a hundred feedings, getting out - with and without the kids - has gotten much easier already.   This vacation alone I got a hair cut, went shopping and for sushi with my husband, and ran a few errands with two free hands and lighter bag sans sippies and snacks.

Turning 32 today seemed a bit lackluster, a like a meaningless birthday...32.  As in, oh yeah, it's my birthday, hold on, I have to swap the laundry.  I hope 32 surprises me - in a good way.  I look forward to lots of adventures this year, hopefully making some new friends, and catching back up with the old.  Worrying less, exercising more.  I'm so grateful for the life I have, now it's time to really live in it.


Happy New Year, Friends!

10 comments:

  1. Happy birthday, Erinn! I hope you can allow yourself to have more of the time to find yourself again now that you're on the other side of having a "baby". I know there's always a lot of guilt holding you back, guilt that you should always be there for your children 24/7, because I feel it too -- but you'll feel better getting out solo more often! xoxo Cheers to a great 2015!

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  2. I'm definitely guilty of letting routine run our day to day.. & it's so hard when you don't live near any family to help pitch in, so I know what you mean. I hope your birthday (and cake) we're amazing!! Happy new year!

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  3. Happy birthday friend! I hear ya on needing me time. I have found it to be so refreshing when I go out shopping alone or in a date with Thomas. But I also love our family time. It's a paradox but that's ok! Here's to more me time, Er you time!!!

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  4. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! i hope you have a good one! xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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  5. I definitely know how you are feeling. When I stayed home for 16 months with my first I felt exactly the same way. Then I went back to full time working mom--- and that was tough too. Now I'm home with #2 so we"ll see what this year brings! I'm hoping to get out more this time and make new mommy friends. I know how isolating being home can be. I know we are fairly close---I live in Lancaster but am in the Philly area often. Would love to meet sometime!

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  6. Happy birthday!! Hope it was wonderful and you get some of that me time :)

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  7. Happy birthday!!! I hope you had a wonderful day!
    And I, too, agree with you. I strived for balance in 2014 and didn't completely achieve it but would like to try harder in 2015. I have such a hard time because I am at work all day so I want to come home and spend time with my family but then I want to see my friends or date my husband or just have me time. No matter the situation, balance is always hard. We have a pretty good routine going so hopefully this year I can change it up a little and maybe have a Target Friday night date to myself once a month or so :) Happy New Year!

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  8. I didn't know you were close! I'm out in the KOP area, def shoot me an email if you ever head this way!

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  9. Yes, I always have the worst guilt. Trying to learn it's okay and I'm still a good and loving mom even if I want some time alone or with other adults.Being "on" 24/7 can take it's toll, something I learned probably too late, but never too late to fix it.

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  10. Catching up - Happy late birthday!! I love that you said all this. :) I think so many of us get wrapped up in our kids and do lose ourselves. I don't think there's anything wrong with putting you/husband first, or at least some special time. I know kids require attention, etc. but 'taking care' of yourself will help in turn to be the best for our kids, as well as set a good example. Yadda yadda, you obviously get it. :) I hope this next year is a GREAT one for you!!

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