Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Bottle It Up - Part 2

Just  few days over a year ago, I wrote a post titled Bottle It Up.


I shared how I was so smitten with my 10 month old baby.  That I couldn't imagine life getting better and that while I knew it would (and it has), I wanted to bottle that moment up forever.


I also mentioned, and I quote:

"When thinking of adding another child, all I can imagine is wishing away the lack of head of control, fussiness, poor sleeping, constant eating, super drooling, and let's face it, general being a blob of human form.  Which I know won't be true when it happens, but at this moment, all I want is my 10 month old forever. "


Instead, the other night while nursing Kenley back to sleep, I found myself holding her long after she stopped.  I felt her long, now chubby, legs hanging off the side of my lap.  This baby already seems so big I can barely fathom that she was once tiny enough to be in my belly.



She's generally pretty awake these days.  Of course, she'll have a day here or there where she seems to sleep through to catch up, but she's usually watching the chaotic life circling around her.

She smiles from her head down to her toes, you just feel her smile beaming from deep inside.  She gives Tyra Banks a run for her money with her "smize".  Irish Eyes.  It melts me in a way I can't explain other than my heart exploding, and then exploding two seconds later when she does it again.

She's trying so hard to roll on her mat always swatting the toys that hang, or grabbing the rings.  While impressive and cute, I love even more when she grabs for my hand or finger, especially while snuggling, and her grip pulsates.  As if she's sending a code for her love to me in morse code.

Similarly, I love that she holds her hands.  More times than not, you can catch her sleeping with hers gently folded together, so little and delicate.


As a second time mom, I know what I have to look forward to, I don't doubt that my love will continue to grow, but I am occasionally surprised at how big it started.


When Ashlynn was born, I was so aware to enjoy every minute and I did.  I was afraid I wouldn't have the time to take in all the little details when a second child came along, already having a first child to split the focus on.  However, knowing Kenley is our last, I've been just as vigilant to mentally notate every detail I can think of.  I don't want to forget the way she sucks her bottom lip, she scrunches her nose when she smiles, how tiny her feet are, or she rests her head on my shoulder.



I can't wait to watch her grow as I know she's going to be full of personality, loving, and happy.  She already has been since the day we met her.  I'll miss how tiny it began, but just like any beautiful flower, she's destined to bloom.


And it's going too fast.




19 comments:

  1. She is just too sweet!!
    justusandrae13.blogspot.com

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  2. She is such a beautiful baby! What a sweetheart!

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  3. I love this! I'm pretty scared of having number 2. I'm afraid I won't love him/her as much as lex... Which is why I love this post! You give me hope and proof that I'm crazy!

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  4. I know the feeling so well, loving every moment, but all at the same time wishing you could rewind and stop time and even fast forward it. So much love :)

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  5. Such a sweet post! I'm so scared about having a second baby because I can't imagine loving them as much as my first but posts like these make me think it can happen. Thanks for sharing.

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  6. This is SO beautiful! I mean really, I'm tearing up!

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  7. Erinn you are a fabulous writer and able to convey your thoughts and feelings so well! I just adore this post and am so happy for you and your family of four. It has been so fun to follow along on your journey.

    This post is really helping me to savor the moments I have with Ellie an to soak it all in!

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  8. I wrote a post back in the summer about my fears of not loving the second as much, even saying I knew I would, just couldn't understand at the time how... but you do :)

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  9. exactly. need to invent a time machine stat!

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  10. Thanks Nat! And yes, you will absolutely just fall in love with the second the same way you did with the first!

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  11. Thank you, Ashley! I never thought of myself as a good writer, I was always a good student, but stronger in math and sciences than language arts. I always find it funny how therapeutic I find writing/blogging and never would have thought I'd do something like this. I'm so happy people are able to relate, and yes, these years are so fleeting

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  12. Perspective is a wonderful thing!! Love having it the second time around---makes things so much easier. She really is the most precious baby.

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  13. Did you see your comment on my original post?! I read it while I was writing it up... wise woman you are ;)

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  14. Lord willing, we're going to have a few more babies, but I already dread the last baby because I'm afraid I wont savor it enough and their babyhood will fly by. I already feel like that with my first son and he's only one! Thanks for being so transparent!

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  15. I think #2 has to be even more amazing based on the fact that you do know (a bit about) what's coming and you really appreciate how quickly it all changes. I remember the newborn phase being such a crazy mix of awesome and awful and yet I cannot wait to do it all again!

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  16. You are so welcome! I find it to be incredibly therapeutic as well!!

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  17. I LOVE THIS! I found myself smiling while reading the post, like I could envision what you were saying and I felt like I was back in time when Mason was that little. It seriously goes by WAY TOO FAST! While I love the age he is at now, I remember those sweet little moments too and miss them as well.

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  18. This made me tear up because I am feeling the same things. Audriana holds her hands too when she sleeps and it just melts my heart. I think it's harder with the second because you already know how fast it goes and I constantly find myself asking where the pause bottom is because these moments are going by way too fast. I couldn't have put this any better myself. Beautiful!

    Loveandlifesimplified.blogspot.com

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