The other night, Ashlynn had me up three times. This has become pretty par for the course lately as multiple teeth are trying to make their way though. She's had three come through in the last month alone and I see more on their way.
As I got out of bed, again, to console her and hope just a well placed paci and back rub would console her enough to get me back in bed. She instead wanted up, and like usual, I obliged. Her pathetic cries told me this was pain and not just being cranky or a middle of the night nightmare. I decided to give her some tylenol and then we sat and rocked. She straddled my lap and rested her head on my shoulder, quickly being soothed by her blankie and bink... and mommy's embrace.
And I realized, as I do quite often, I didn't mind being up. These days will pass us, just as her long nights as a newborn did. One day, she'll loose these teeth that are working so hard to break through her precious gummy smile. One day, her mouth will be full of full size teeth... and probably braces too.
And those days, even during the pain of orthodontic visits, she won't be consoled by sitting in my lap and snuggling on my shoulder. And I remember, when she was just 5 pounds and literally wearing clothes the size for a doll, when did she get so big? When did she start sitting in my lap and resting her head up on my shoulder at the same time? Wasn't it just yesterday we had our nightly routine... and not a year ago?!
And time passes.
And I'm still in this chair, rocking my sleeping baby back and forth soaking in her freshly shampoo'd hair and rubbing the soft skin on her back humming a lullaby. Will she ever remember how much I loved her at these moments... Our relationship will change, no doubt, soon even with better verbal skills and more discipline on the horizon. Will she ever remember the way I cuddled her endless hours of the night, the way I kissed her chubby soft cheeks, and our tradition of morning Eskimo kisses?
I love this child. More than she will ever comprehend.